Stop Following Me! But please read on....

Sometimes, just standing there, do you ever get chills and look around to see what’s the matter? Or, walk more briskly when there’s someone right behind you, or in my case, less briskly so they can pass? It’s one of those strange gut feelings that must be listened to, but really probably doesn’t matter if the other is a real piece of work.

My prayers at dinner took a stride towards specificity after I finished Kate Brennan’s In His Sites. ‘Thank-you, Lord, for my safety and ability to be.’ I concur, as she puts it, that there’s always someone who’s having a harder time. I know this from many sources, but each day I thank God for some new thing I hadn’t realized before. I’m not the point of fixation for a madman, and that is good news!

This book, a story of one woman’s meeting, loving, and leaving a man, rather mundane as far as it goes, shoots into high gear when we discover he’s a sex addicted (his diagnosis) psychopath (my diagnosis) who dedicates years – over a decade and counting – of his life to tormenting her thereafter.

What I seem to always ask is: How does such a competent woman, obviously capable of a solid writing career, with demonstrated talent in this compelling autobiography, get into such a mess? The too pat answer is that she experienced this to learn and grow as a person, and then to teach, through writing the story. These were both explored and counted valid by the author. This sounds somewhat peaceful for such a menace to inhabit her life. But, maybe that is what it’s about. I’m certainly aware of further social deviances from reading this than I had been before.

But the next question points towards me: Why did I choose to read this? Well, the Seattle libraries, in response to the current economic downturn, closed for a week, so I went and stocked up on reading material in my #2 preferred location and saw this on the new/recommended shelf. But, as I didn’t pick up the others, I admit to a grand curiosity on how men and women relate, with stalking as part of it all that makes no sense. I don’t even keep up extraordinarily well with good friends whom I hold dear, so who could be motivated to chase an ex who wants rid of you???

All this to say, there’s yet another mark against the independently wealthy, which the stalker is. But, more to the point, there’s a strong cautionary note about getting involved in relationships with psychotic people. That I can fully embrace – no rich lunatics for me!

Generally speaking, men can be put at ease as Kate only has hard feelings about specific unrepentant men with specific unsavory behaviors. Namely: drunkenness, bribery, sexual misconduct, lying, manipulation, domination, and stalking. Pretty much everyone else gets a pass.

One of her greatest points was when she decided to leave Paul. Kate described how she just had to stop listening to his pleas and think clearly about his actions. In that line of reasoning, so what if I praise this book as well-written, informative, and a page turner. Concentrate on how I got to the library and read it straight through. That tells all!